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Today Is Not This Day

from The Home Straight by Max Bandicoot

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lyrics

Wake up this morning by falling off the wrong side of the bed.
Can’t find my clothes, can’t find my brain, guess I got wasted again.
The alarm clock looks at me like ‘Dude you are so late’.
I snooze, I lose and I spill my booze everywhere.
Try to focus but my thoughts are in slow motion,
I don’t know about the city but I’m in the state of intoxication.
Hard digestion, a smell of triple distillation,
Some leftover bourbon, but no time for a celebration.
Oh my job, if I see my God, I’m gonna lose my boss. (No)
Oh my God, if I see my boss, I’m gonna lose my job. (Yes)
I don’t even have just a second for a cigarette, I better find an aspirin and heal that headache.
All of the sudden I see a scary silhouette, my time has come, I’m gonna die today. No.
It’s just my big fat cat, it is blocking the way.
Looks at me like ‘Human, feed me now!’.
So I pick up my baseball bat and get ready.
Home Run. Head Shot. Nap Time.

A day may come when I give a damn. But today is not this day.
A day may come when I give a damn. But today is not this day.
Hey. Take it easy. That’s a job for future me.
A day may come when I give a damn. But today is not this day.

Despite the fact that I am intact, I’m desperate.
Close to death I saw the light, but I can’t remember it.
Pick up my pockets, look for credit card tickets.
My memory is like a secret that no one wants to tell. Ssh.
Flashback, six packs and I don’t talk about abs.
Four jacks, ten shots, and I feel like I’m a jet pack.
But the flight may be good, the landing is painful.
I’d rather grab some food but I don’t feel like I’m in the mood.
Moves coming from my bedroom, getting close soon, my heart goes boom.
She’s kind of beautiful, it only happens once in a blue moon.
Wow, she was like an angel lost in the dust of my flat.
Wow, I do poesy now, but ain’t nobody got time for that. I’m like:
“Hope you like scrambled eggs and a slice of smoky bacon in the morning Sweet Sugar.
Just kidding just take your stuff, the bus stop is around the corner.”
She wants to stay, I need to get out, so I pick up my baseball bat.
Home Run. Head Shot. Nap Time.

A day may come when I give a damn. But today is not this day.
A day may come when I give a damn. But today is not this day.
Hey. Take it easy. That’s a job for future me.
A day may come when I give a damn. But today is not this day.

3PM in the morning. On my way to the office.
I sneak in the building like a ghost not to see my bosses.
Get into the open space, I’d rather use my poker face,
They want to see me working, so I lock the door “just in case”.
Phone is ringing all the time, it sounds like a sweet lullaby.
So tired I fall asleep and dream about taking a nap.
No chance I gonna react even with a thousand thunderclaps,
Even if the strongest lumberjack scratches my back with his big axe.
The dullest crayon in the box. I spend my day staring at the clock.
Frames of me on the wall : I’m the worst employee every month.
They should have read between the two lines of my resume.
They should have known it’s a few lies I use to fake.
Hey. I deserve some break. Life is overrated: I’ll just play dead.
Don’t you know I’m all show and no go. My keyboard is my second pillow.
If I say I care, oh God I swear my nose would grow. Just like Pinocchio.
Try not to snore is the best I can do. Can I show you my point of view?
I know someday I’m going to Hell, but at least I’ll get free BBQ.

No moral in this story.
I was feeling too lazy.
Someday I’m going to pay.
But today is not this day.

credits

from The Home Straight, released April 23, 2016

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about

Max Bandicoot London, UK

An original acoustic style somewhere between Folk & Rap. Songwriting deeply influenced by artists such as Mumford and Sons, Ed Sheeran, and French rappers like MC Solaar or Nekfeu.
His live performance consists of Max, a loop pedal and enough energy to make a lighthouse glow. His unique use of loops fill the room with beautiful harmonies while affectionately slapping Martine (his tiny guitar).
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